Chemical analysis of teh woman

Vandire · Post by **Vandire** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:49 am

WOMAN
(A chemical Analysis)

Element: woman

Symbol: Wo

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Weight: accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 - 160 lbs.

Occurence: surplus quantities in all urban areas.

Physical Properties:
1) suface usually covered in painted film
2) boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3) melts if given proper treatment
4) bitter if used incorrectly
5) found in various states, ranging from virgin metal, to common ore

Chemical Properties:
1) possess great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones
2) able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances
3) may explode spontaneously if left alone with a male
4) insoluable in liquids but activity greatly increased by saturation in
alcohol
5) yields to pressure applied to correct points

Uses:
1) highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2) most powerful money-reducing agent known
3) can be a great aid to relaxation

Tests:
1) pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in natural state
2) turns green if placed beside a better specimen

Caution:
1) highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2) illegal to posses more than one

Morbid Angel · Post by **Morbid Angel** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 4:54 am

Common ore.

I GET IT. I GET JOKES.

Shroomygirl · Post by **Shroomygirl** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:11 am

thats cute...

Spider Jerusalem · Post by **Spider Jerusalem** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:13 am

What, no PMS crack?

I'm disappointed.

cenee · Post by **cenee** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:27 am

MoosetheHellhound wrote:What, no PMS crack?

I'm disappointed.

2) boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3) melts if given proper treatment
4) bitter if used incorrectly

3) may explode spontaneously if left alone with a male

Close enough.

Spider Jerusalem · Post by **Spider Jerusalem** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:28 am

None of them have "Once a month" attached tot he end, Lise.

Post by **Mik** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 8:49 am

It was impiled you americans always have to spell it out.

Spider Jerusalem · Post by **Spider Jerusalem** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 10:16 am

Lastwolf wrote:It was impiled you americans always have to spell it out.

It's in the details, Mik. XD

Squirrel · Post by **Squirrel** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 11:56 am

this is what i mean Americans don't get British sense of humoUr!

Post by **Mik** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:43 pm

I don't think they dig subtility. Everything has to be blatant and loud

Squirrel · Post by **Squirrel** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:43 pm

like Will

kaos · Post by **kaos** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:48 pm

how do we even know thats a british joke?
for all we know it could have been written up by a guy in Kansas city, Missouri

Post by **Mik** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:48 pm

Yeah, Will Shouting "Women Have PMS, ya'll" would be a real rib tickler to them

Valid point K, but it's an american picking at it.

kaos · Post by **kaos** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:53 pm

fag smokers.

Post by **Mik** » Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:53 pm

isn't that just a regular smoker ?