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my eyes drift along in a state of disenheartened bliss, overshadowed in a void of darkness that is bound by eternal misery. somewhere i still hear the whimpering of my soul, succumbed to evil thoughts and deeds, seeking out lost redemption. like the howling wind of night, the grip of sanity loosens and slips, as an abyss wraps about me; cold, isolated bliss.


not that i can classify it as any type of poem, but it's the first i've come up with anything in months like this....heh.

fukin good work there dude
i really like it

isolated bliss, one thing id love, yet, something id hate at the same time, cant stand to be round to many people, hate being alone

good work mike

"My eyes drift along in a state of disheartened bliss;
Overshadowed in a void of darkness, bound by eternal misery.
Somewhere I still hear the whimpering of my soul,
Succumbed to evil thoughts and deeds,
Seeking out lost redemption.
Like the howling wind of night,
The grip of sanity loosens and slips,
As an abyss wraps about me;
Cold, isolated bliss."


First up, i'll say that I like it. Before I comment all over it and you'll go... great she's rewritten my whole damned poem...evil devil bitch woman


Alot of modern poetry now a days lacks alot of structure like the ballads of old. To me that's a poem as it is. All it needed was the lines seperated to control the way you read them.

Next up, from literary sort of view (mind I have no expertise in this area at all and your more often correcting me than vice versa), this poem has alot of potential to be fleshed out. In a descriptive sort of sense, the imagedry and some of the themes you have in there can be if you want explored upon more.

Alot of my poetry is self indulgent though and I suspect that you'll probably not touch it.
But nice piece of work.

you sure you aint a teacher?

whats with the improper use of semi colons melana?
u dont av 2 punctuate every line
otherwise u end up with a list of sentences not a poem

poems are about structure all be it usally in a figuritive sense.

poetry isnt about structure or anything, its about the writers expression, so structure and content are upto the writer

nice.

a very dark poem