How do I know if....

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Zapages
Civillian
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Post by Zapages » Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:22 pm

We are going abroad for summer vacation and we are both from the same country... She lives somewhat close to where I live. So I was asking if she would like to comeover my grandparent's place while I'm there. She's visiting her grandparents aswell. Her aunt lives in the same city that I live, so she said that she'll try to come when she comes to visit her aunt.

ok, culture and religion are two different things in my opinion.

Overtime, because of teen pregancy and other sins like that dating has been looked down upon in my culture. Even though it has, people still date but don't make out or have sex. Its more conservatives. Most of the time with our conservative parents, mine are not as strict as hers.

As for getting married and finding the special someone. Its sometimes arranged back where I come from... She thinks thats a good thing, while I'm a bit more skeptical about that. My father said if you like a girl than ask her over if she likes you. Then ask her that my parents would like to meet your parents... If all things work out then you'll get married with the special someone.

Another way is to have bachlor/bachlorete parties with your parents. It goes like this, the parents get to meet each other and all the bachlor/bachloretes get to meet each other. If over time you meet someone special then you tell your parents that she is someone you'd like to marry. At the same time she tells her parents you are the someone the she'd like to marry.

I've been to about 7 of them already in the past two or three years. They are fun. Especially when we have guy versus girls in table tennis and pool(snooker).
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Chewi
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Post by Chewi » Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:38 pm

I find that it's a very naive attitude towards what is essentially a very complicated thing. People often fall in love too easily the first couple of times and it usually turns out that they're totally unsuitable for each other after a while. But if you're already married by then... well you're in a right old mess! I know that you know this girl very well already but that often isn't the case in these cultures and I can't see how you could possibly enter into such a strong commitment while knowing so little about the other person. It's foolish. One could argue that the divorce rates are much lower (practically non-existent?) in such cultures but that's probably more to do with the fact that divorce in these cultures is severely looked down upon, even in the worst of situations, and that in itself is certainly not good. Divorce isn't a good thing but it should always be a means of escape for those who truly need it. I know someone on this board who wouldn't hesitate to back me up on this.

In short, don't let your culture or hers make you short-sighted and don't make any hasty decisions. What you really should do though is talk to her about it. I don't care how hard it is, just prise open that mouth of yours and say it. You'll probably find you won't be able to close it afterwards.
Last edited by Chewi on Sat Apr 30, 2005 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Zapages
Civillian
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:14 pm

Post by Zapages » Sat Apr 30, 2005 2:29 pm

We belong to same culture and religion....

Plus a divorce in my religion is a very lengthy process. It takes about a year and half for a couple to officially be divorced... So most of the time a couples are able to resolve their reasons for divorce with the help of both the grooms and brides family getting involved with the marriage consultant.

I'm not thinking of getting married now... I don't even have job. Most likely get engaged when I'm like 23 or 24 and get married a year later or something like that. Hopefully.

I can't figure it out that, if she likes me as friend or she really likes more than a friend. In the start there too many mixed messages but now she has become closer...

We tell each other of deepest secretest and we get very close(not physically, more like intellectually and personality wise).
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Mik
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Post by Mik » Sun May 01, 2005 9:58 am

I don't think Divorces should be allowed but then again I don't truely believe in the concept of marriage at all.


If you commit to someone then you should need a piece of paper to reassure yourself, but maybe that's just me.
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