Come One, Come All Fripping Morons

Junk goes here, bitches.
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:15 pm

Lets see if anyone has developed any creativity here in actually trying to beat me at bloodbath. i highly doubt it but i need some stress relief. anything goes, just no one hit killing shit, just gets rediculous.
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:19 pm

*jumps out of the rafters rather abruptly screaming," DEATH FROM ABOVE!!" and promptly lands on Wildcard with his oversized shoes of doom. He begins tap dancing, per his name, but not any tap dance it's... THE TAP DANCE OF DOOM!!. One spine and two kidneys later he throws wildcard over a table and begins hitting him with a steel support beam. Which ironically, was taken from the building.*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:47 pm

*rising up from being thrown across the room and feeling the beam bashing against his skull wc, raises a single arm, catches the beam in his hand in the next swing and steps in towards tdd and glares at him* what is this? a bad episode of the riverdance? *using tdd's own weight against him, he flips him over in a toss and watches him land on a table, breaking it under his weight and then proceeds to do his own version of the riverdance with steel soled cleets all over tdd's face and upper torso* you like THAT version of riverdance bitch?! *irish music is heard in the background just as wc "tap dances" with the cleets all over tdd's genitals*
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:51 pm

*Happens to be wearing his titanium plated cup today and merely rolls out from under him, picking up chunkes of table in the process. Producing a lighter and a slingshot he lights the table chunks and launches them with the slingshot. About thirty seconds later the entire room is on fire and the roof is already beginning to come down due to a lack of a support beam. Producing a big ass mallet, He begins beating Wildcard senseless. "How's that chumpy? Want some of this?!" with that he pulls out a second hammer and goes to town on Wildcards ass.*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 6:56 pm

*extending both arms, 13 inch daggers shoot out into his hands and wc proceeds to use them to slice the heads of the hammers off from the grips in swift precise strikes* well, now i know you ARE a fag....first you start with tap dancing, now you try to hammer my ass.

*hurling the daggers at tdd as a distraction, as he dodges them, wc had mad a running dash at him and clotheslined him out a window by the time he saw it coming and as he went flying out the window of the 20 story building, wc yelled out, "CAN YOU FLY BITCH!!? CAN YOU FLY!!??"*
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:18 pm

*Can't actually fly, but has a bag of tricks to rival that elf from Zelda. He flips a switch on his belt and a jet pack pops out of his back, propelling him back to the top floor in a rather swift motion. He ram head first into WC's jaw sending him hurtling backwards into a wall. Flipping he turns the jet pack to full and slides out of the harness, sending it flying into WC's chest and driving him through the wall. Pulling what looks like a large metal tube from his coat he hits a button and it telescopes into a REALLY big cannon, which he proceeds to shoots after WC, blowing the building apart in the process. All while screaming," SUCK IT DOWN BITCH!"*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:39 pm

*after the building is completely demolished, tdd glances around at the dangling cinderblocks and structural support beams wondering if he vaporized wc, "where the hell did he go???"

after moments of sifting through the rubble of teh 20th floor he hears a voice calling from below and proceeds to glance over a ledge to see wc below on the sidewalk holding what appears to be some sort of detonator, "Wonderfully played old chap! But Now You Need To Catch Your Flight!", wc hits the switch and what's left of the 20th floor gets blown sky high and as it hurtles upwards a jumbo jet impacts into it igniting into a giant fireball in the sky*
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:44 pm

*TDD had barely managed to hurl himself over the edge of the building as the entire thing went up. Producing a batman-esque grappling hook he shot it into the nearest building and swung to the sidewalk. He swung his arms out sideways, two sawn-off combat shotguns sliding out of this sleeves and into his hands. He made his way around the building slowly, only to find WC robbing the nearby Jensons Orphanage and Liqour store. Smashing through the door himself he began shooting everything to hell, everything meaning WC, and most of the children. Not waiting to see if WC was actually dead he swung his arms out again, this time producing a spray of grenades from his sleeves, and turned to hurl himself out of the building, even as the blast did it for him.*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 7:53 pm

*managing to duck behind the main desk and using the owner of the store/orphanage as a blanket against the gunfire and grenades, wc shrugged the dead body and destroyed desk off him after the smoke cleared and wandered outside watching tdd wandering down the sidewalk shooting random police officers with a bazooka, "HEY! YOU MISSED!"

as tdd spun around wc had already lobbed off a 20mm air burst grenade from the OICW he produced out of thin air and watched as tdd got blasted sideways to land on the street as a semi truck was speeding through town and as he rose up and looked behind him, the truck slammed into him making him explode like bad mexican food all over the roadway* he really should learn to use the crosswalk damnit...
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:00 pm

*pulled himself off the grill of the still moving semi slowly, taking time to bash in the windshield and stab the driver in the face. He'd been saving those taco's for later too," DAMN YOU WC! YOU BASTAAAAAAAARRRRRDDD!!" being enraged over the loss of his taco's he drove the semi, which happened to be dragging a gas tank, through a building and onto WC, taking time to back up and do it again, and again and again. Finally done running WC over repeatedly, he jumped out of the semi and swung his arms sideways again. This time two gigantic robotic arms slid out of his sleeves and locked over his, the coat accomidating them nicely. He then proceeded to lift the tanker and repeatedly smash it onto wc, careful not to explode the gas. Finally done maiming him, TDD drills a hole in the tank with his arms and pours it all over WC and the wreckage. He then turns and extends the arm to grab a building, pulling himself up with it even as he drops a match into the puddle of gas.*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:07 pm

*wc groaning as he quickly slipped through an open manhole in the building and dived into the water to dillute the fuel on his body and as he heard the loud explosion above he snuck his way through the sewer system of the city and quickly flipped a switch on an underground cache of timed explosives and hopped into a speed boat in the waterway of the sewer system and as he made it outside of the city he climbed out another manhole outside the city limits, set up a lawn chair, sipped a martini, put on some shades and watched as the city went up in a nuclear explosion*

i love the smell of burnt flesh in the afternoon.........
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:16 pm

*Was almost in orbit by the time he started descending again, the explosion had been niced but a well timed booster jump had put him on the edge of the shockwave and simply propelled him upward. That and his coat was armor plated and shielded. Spinning breifly he swung his arms out, two large missile batteries sliding over his arms. An aiming array slid out of the neck piece and over his eyes, and he zoomed in on WC's location, still sitting on a hill top watching the explosion. The batteries expanded breifly and then fired. Around three hundred missiles launched towards wc, but when they got within ten feet of the stunned psychopath they lost their cases and launched clusters of around one thousand smaller missiles themselves. The entire hilltop turned breifly into a giant pinpoint of light, then dissappeared in a mushroom cloud. TDD relaxed, the missile batteries popping off his arms and descending to do their own damage, and pulled a cord on his coat to activate his parachute.*
WildCard
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Post by WildCard » Wed Jul 28, 2004 8:28 pm

*just as TDD pulled the rip cord his so called parachute came out only he found that it was nothing but kitchen utensils that came out and a little note popped out of the front of his coat and TDD read the words: Made And Packed By WildCard Enterprises Address: 666 You're Fucked Phone Number: 555-don't call us-we won't call you CEO: WildCard.

As TDD plummeted to the ground below he flipped the card over to read: Have A Nice Flight And Enjoy The Trip Yours Truely, WildCard. as he reached maximum velocity TDD Yelled out, "YOU BAAAAAAAAASTARD!!" just before he slammed into the ground and turned into a giant pancake*
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:51 pm

a mini bus drives by with blacked out windows and a scary lookin fell driving....the side door opens and shinra is kicked out...hand cuffed and gagged....wildcard turns round to see shinra hit him at 40mph...wildcard does a flip and lands a devastating fall on his neck....in the co-motion shinra stands to find his hand cuffs have broken...he sees a small card near it...it reads:"WILDCARDS EVERYTHING FOR A $...Your Broke im Broke....buy my cheap shit"

Shinra goes to see if Wc is ok and thanks him for breaking his fall...dodging the dead,flat tap dancing cat....WC still hasn't moved...shinra pokes him with a stick then decides to pick him up by his hair....he moves WC and there is no reaction...checks his pulse....dead!!

shinra removes all mikes valuble belonging and sets him on fire...shinra walks away wearing WC's sunglasses...and checking his wallet...

"Heh Heh...the perfect crime"

shinra feels a small tap on his shoulder...
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TapDancingDoom
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Post by TapDancingDoom » Thu Jul 29, 2004 12:04 am

*Having managed to remove yet another random food item he was saving from his back, TDD found himself faced with some random bystander. Now random bystanders are fun sorts, they tend to die in the cross fire. Alot like this one was going to, due to the ion cannon telescoping out of TDD's right coat sleeve. He merely tapped Shinra on the shoulder with it, and as he turned blew him to hell, along with most of the landscape in front of him. Finding wildcard very not good at dieing, he proceeded to swing his arms out again, ditching the cannon, and replacing it with two large pulse cannon batteries. If there wasn't a hole before, there was now. Earth and air alike went flying as he blasted what was left of the land into a burning crater.*
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