close shut the rants of oblivion

Everything from Console, PC & Handheld. This is the place your none On-line Graphic related play things go.
Post Reply
User avatar
kaos
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4089
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:09 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Post by kaos » Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:50 pm

Everybody is still all up on oblivion nutsack

I don't see why

after having the game at least a year now maybe two I can say that the game is pretty weak overall.

before my gripe with was the lack of a sense of urgency, giving off a "why should I even bother" feeling about all the quests.

today. Im pretty much gonna tear the game a new asshole


visual character customization

since day one people have been harping on an on about customization and how deep it it.

uhhh....no.

I've even heard that it was so good that people have been able to make them selves in a matter of 30 minutes...

I know ugly people exist....but i didn't think their were this many of em.
cuzz ugly is just about all you can make in this game.

that whole system is pretty ridiculous to be honest.

First, its a real strain to get the shape to co-operate with what youre trying to do. They give you like 80 gazillion sliders, but any time you move one slider....at least 3 others move alone with it, which pretty much undoes the last thing you did.

once you settle on a shape. (cuzz settle is exactly what you have to do) then you gotta fuck around with tones.

This tone shit is horrible.

Its like the only two colors are red and blue.

if you go real dark skinned for some damned reason you'll get this sickly green that you never even asked for. and if you go real light skinned....you fucking glow.

its also got the same issue as the shapes. moving the sliders constantly undoes at least 3 other sliders.

If it weren't for the fucking tones. you might get to appreciate the shape options more.

Some dev jackass decided it would be a good idea to throw facial hair in with the tone sliders.

That might be the worst feature in customization history...ever.

try fucking with those and you just make a terrible mess.

for some reason making your beard darker make you lips super red and your skin green.

why couldn't they just do facial hair like the did hairstyles?
separate model, separate options.
less hassle, and nothing to fuck up.

It would like better than these painted on, fell in the mud, been eating crude oil beards that they insist you have.....even if you're a woman, and doent fuck with the beard options....you'll have what i guess is supposed to be stubble.

Of course if the variety of hairstyles is any hint of what that might of been like. maybe its better they left it out.

some genius decided that you can be bald.....thats not a bad thing.
of course they're definition of bald, means middle aged man hanging on to the last bits of hair he still has.

you can not be Mr.clean bald.

you gotta be Mr.midlife crises instead.

even if you choose the Mohawk.
now thats just stupid.


all of the above is just face/head options.
cuzz theirs absolutely no body options.

no fat, no skinny, no muscle....nothing.
everybody has the same generic middle of the road body.
you may be taller or shorter depending on the race you chose. but typically you get no options here.

clothing...

guys were pants, girls were long boring skirts

thats pretty much the end of it.

dont get me wrong, I'm not suggesting some gender swap cross dresser options....not that id be against them either.

but its just so dull.

literally.

There are no bright colors in the game.
dark red, brown, and grey is pretty much the games color palette.
youve got boring clothes from the 1700's. and not of the fancy stuff from the time period....nah, you got all the stuff the poor folk wore.

you start the game in prison clothes.....
and it pretty much doesn't get too much better than that.

as far as actual clothing models in the game go, their may only be like 10 or so polygon models. and thats being generous.

thats like 3 shirts.
4 pairs of pants.
and shoes and stuff

everything is is a recolor or re texture of something else.

and is it just me, or did anybody else notice, that all the head gear in the game are helmets?
theirs not a single hat in the entire region.


armor is even worse.

you get like 4 armor sets for light armor and 4 for heavy armor.
and then more recolors/textures.

on top of that its such a downgrade from morrowind, not that that game was a shiny jewel either...but at least it could use the last gen excuse.

in morrowind you had shoulder gear, arm wear gloves chest, leg, boots, head, and even the use of them again.

in that game i could wear a shirt...armor over the shirt that would be visable under the armor...and then a robe over all of that id i liked.
when it came down to shoulder arms and hands, i could choose to outfit my left side differently from my right.

Id have liked the same song and dance here.
instead i only get the punk remix the same song, and dancing is banned in this little town.


"oblivion is a long xxx hours game"

bullshit...the game is short.
you can finish it in about 8 hours.

the main story line is only lengthened by your own procrastination and sidetracking.
if you actually sit down and play it....like i did a few days ago.
you're looking at 8 hours tops.

ok now the main quest is done....now what?

now you can do the mages guild stuff.
yay....before you even get to see a story there, you got about 30 minutes of guild recommendation bullshit to do first. once thats done.....thats 'maybe' 3 hours long.

ok fighters guild?

2 hours

theifs guild?

they attempt to stretch this out by making you fence 1000 dollars worth of stuff inbetween missions.
but if you steal the alchemy crap from the mages guild. you'll have fenced 1000k on the first try.

this one may actually be 4 hours.
ofcourse youre in sneak mode most of the time and force to walk slowly.

assassins guild?
this is best 20 minutes of the game!
ofcourse is longer than twenty minutes....but it sure goes fast.

whats worse is the ending.
congrats you the assassins guild leader now....you got assassin at your command.....with nobody to assassinate.

theirs not too much else to do.
theirs random quest that pop up here and there.
but those cant even be taken seriously.

the Glarthir quest just pisses me off SO MUCH!


cyrodill

the devs spend all this time talking about all the vast cultures and all this other crap.
and you dont get to see any of it.

everybody does things the same everybody has the same mannerisms and behavior.

and everybody has the same fucking voice.
The voice work in this game is horrid.
its not really the voice acting thats the problem.
its the lack of actors.

lets count the male voices...

Nords and orcs = voice 1
redguards = voice 2
wood elf, dark elf, high elf = voice 3
kajiit and argonians = voice 4

yeah, that about sums it up.

their a grand total of 6 male voice in the game and they get used over the hundreds of citizens in the game.

action 2 of them arent on the citizens.
sean beans voice is exclusivly on martin.
and it sounds like he's about to burst into tears at any moment any time he speaks

it really sounds like he's on the verge of tears.
maybe bethesda was holding his family hostage untill he read the all lines.

and the patrick stewart.
wish i could say somthing good about him.
but his character dies in the first 10 minutes of the game.

he doesnt say much at all.

except a few lines that sound like he's coming on to your character.
"let me look at you....you are the one from my dreams"
"the dont understand why I love you baby"

hehe that last one aint real.
but my cousin played and his reaction to his scenes were "whoa wait...is he gay?...does he know I'm a dude?"

anyway, how about making the races speak in different voices with a accent adjust to their race background?

theirs times where a bunch people in town are talking and you have no idea which npc's ass to kick, cuzz they all sound the same.


its a great and vast fantasy world


yeah...but it suffers from being to real.

this one can go back to the clothing deal.
its all dull as shit.

"I can choose which celebrities nose I want, But I have to have fries with my combo meal?"

its just like that.

i can be an upright walking cat man that speaks the kings english....but the only riding animal is a horse?

theirs skeletons all over the game.
but apparently the only people that die are humans.

none of those skeletons ha a tail...or a cool skull and teeth.

the only swords are the standard run of the mill shit, a claymore and, some damned katana?

you can do anything in oblivion!

actually no you cant.

their are some conversations were id like to say...."no" or "hey i dont care" or "yeah, lord vader, I'd like to join the dark side"

cant do it.

whats worse is the devs will fuck with you and sometimes give you the option only for the other guy to turn the conversation around on you and basically force you to stick to the script.

i mean check it out.

the mages guild is fighting of this necromancer faction....
they're obviously a pretty organized group.

can i join them instead of the mages guild?
no.
even tho they have an HQ and a head honcho to give me quests and a enemy faction...i cant join them.

the game were i can do anything....i cant be bad.

the fighters guild has conflict with blackwood company....can i join blackwood?
no. not or real.
some of us find being a cut throat mercenary a lot more interesting basicly being in a knight fraternity.

their pirates all over the game, can i join the crew?
nope.

their even more bandits...how bout them?
no. cuzz every bandit is evil and doesnt even talk to you, they just start hacking at you on site.

could I atleast you know be the king shit of some place...

you know like the kvatch place that I single handedly saved, is now without a ruler, and needs to rebuild?

no. cuzz they say theyre gonne rebuild, but nobody lifts a finger, hell, id even take the ability to be the ruler of the rubble there. but not even an offer.

oh wait cyrodill needs a new emporor?
my schedule looks free....and it was me who saved the whole god damned world anyway... how bout it.

no. we'll give you fake king armor tho, even tho you've done everything their is to really do in the game. we wont bother to acknowledge that you actually did anything at all.

matter of fact...
we made you name the character you're playing, but we wont even use the name....not even in text.

its got more dungeon crawling than diablo.

dungeons are dungeons
sewers are dungeons
prisons and castles are dungeons
caves are dungeons
basements are dungeons or sometimes connect to dungeons.

this game is all dungeons and no dragons.

and the main map is just a portal for choosing which dungeon you wanna do first.

its got good ai

maybe it did before they released it...
but all the npcs are typically on a script.
and worse yet its the same script.

90% of the worlds people wake up at 6am wander about till 8am which is when they unlock the door to their house or job, then they wander about till 8pm where the lock the doors, then they go eat something, then the go home and go to sleep till 6am.

thats just a simple boring routine.

call me back when they eat cuzz theyre hunger and not cuzz its 11pm.

youd think after the first sims game people would have learned something.
Last edited by kaos on Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Matt
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Matt » Tue Dec 18, 2007 12:11 am

Sorry to be a cunt, but..

I own this game, I despise this game, I think this game is shit and I found almost every point you made to be totally pointless and/or stupid. Sorry.
User avatar
Chewi
Anti-Hero
Posts: 3521
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2004 3:51 pm
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland

Post by Chewi » Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:00 am

Aren't you both saying it's shit? What's the problem?
User avatar
Mik
Born under a bad sign
Posts: 3394
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:44 am
Location: Beyond your borders
Contact:

Post by Mik » Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:55 am

too long, didn't read.





I haven't tried the game, the idea of a single player MMO, has never appealed to me and never will.

I think some of what you brought up is a addressable other parts at more about dreamy mechanics that I'd love to see but I don't think is plausible (I'd love to be proved wrong).
User avatar
kaos
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4089
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:09 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Post by kaos » Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:10 pm

not plausible?
I could probably write out a functional way to do everything I want that makes sense.

I don't think I'm asking for anything even close to impossible.
not in the least.

I don't see how me pointing out just how limited the game is pointless and stupid.
elaborate.

I challenge both of thee.
Last edited by kaos on Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Matt
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Matt » Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:19 pm

Chewi wrote:Aren't you both saying it's shit? What's the problem?
No problem. I just thought it was a terrible review. I wouldn't bother doing one myself as I can't make myself play the game enough to comment.
User avatar
Matt
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Matt » Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:21 pm

Ok, I just thought you could've writen this a whole lot better and I just plain wondered why, if you hate it, you played it much longer than I did.
User avatar
kaos
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4089
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:09 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Post by kaos » Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:49 pm

gamefly is stupid.
I owe all the rental stores.

but mostly I was trying to justify the 60 bucks i paid for it.
unfortunately I cant.

oblivion doesnt even really feel like a game.
its more like a demo of a platform to build games on top of.
User avatar
Bogey
Not-A-Deserter
Posts: 1147
Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2004 11:30 pm

Post by Bogey » Tue Dec 18, 2007 9:07 pm

I pretty much agree with all that Johnny. The game is amazing for the first few hours you play it, but then you soon realize how pointless and repetitive everything is. I tried playing it through again but I just can't bring myself to doing the main quest, I get Sean Bean's character to that fort and lose interest.
User avatar
Mik
Born under a bad sign
Posts: 3394
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:44 am
Location: Beyond your borders
Contact:

Post by Mik » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:11 am

90% of the worlds people wake up at 6am wander about till 8am which is when they unlock the door to their house or job, then they wander about till 8pm where the lock the doors, then they go eat something, then the go home and go to sleep till 6am.

Mainly this part, I believe we've talked on that subject before and whilst agree totally, I just don't see how one would implement somehting like that. Then again I'm not a programmer so maybe it's a lot easier than I'm making it out.

Having dynamics and co-dependant relations to NPC characters.

Code: Select all

Case Study;

NPC (Dave the Orc-King) has died, killed by Hero. The 'Mobs' (Clan Dave Orc) should no-longer path into 'town' (Heroville), new path of 'defeatedx1' (nolonger going past the Pretty river) set timer 12 igdays (real time 4:00hours).

NPC's (Heroville villagers) set to path 'safe1', NPC's now stay out 1 ighour later and increase NPC's in bars/ playing set behaviour 'happy'.

Player 'renown' (+X points). Player reputation with 'town' (Heroville) set to (Honoured)

In 4hours, Set 'mobs' (Clan Dave Orc) to path 'attackx2' (invading actual town of heroville) Set NPC name 'Son of Dave Orc' set level NPC to 1.2xPlayer Level. Set NPC's (Heroes villagers) to 'underattackx2' Set behaviour 'default'. Quest giver flag=on, Quest 2 'Death to the 'mob' (Clan Dave Orc).
Okay, that's some really bullshitty english instruction on 1 quest line on 1 dynamic event, seems like to keep that shit running, would eat up alot of stuff. Then you want to throw randomness into the mix.
User avatar
kaos
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4089
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:09 pm
Location: Atlanta, Ga

Post by kaos » Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:03 pm

really all I'm asking is that the rip off the sims here.
everything in that game was done with gauges that constantly ran down, unless you or the sim filled them back up again.

after you completed the house and got everything were it should be, you really didnt have to play anymore...just watch.

if the food is gone, go shopping

if npc hasnt eatin in a few hours...go eat

if npc has full bladder....go piss

if tired go...take ass to bed

if wake up happens before 10am and in own home. go to a closet and choose a random shirt and random pants to wear.

just stick a shitload of guages on the npcs.
as well as do things the normal way for special npcs.
and you pretty much satisfy me here.


seriously, I would love it if the mark that I had to go kill was in the middle of taking a dump when i cuaght up to him.

its better than him just standing in the spot waiting and poised for action....even if im not coming at all.
User avatar
Matt
Noble Warrior
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: England
Contact:

Post by Matt » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:20 pm

Pure honour dictates you must at least let him wipe and pull his pants up, though.
Post Reply