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Matt
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Post by Matt » Sun Jun 20, 2004 3:06 am

right

theres this girl....females iam usually good with...but shes....different....loopy to shorten it

we had a bit of history...but no relationship in any way...i wanted to..but being a gentleman i dont push myself onto a girl i know dont want me(or so i thourght)....two reasons...rejection....and i wouldn't want some bitch trying to get off with me if i didn't like her like that!!!

heres the problem

we had to stop being friends because she was cutting herself too much for me to take...using MY name on herself and other stuipid ones like fuck...love....hate etc

then she started ringing me(after she had stopped cutting) telling me it was me who got her to stop(basically cos i pleaded her to) and i was the best thing to happen to her....and later that she loves me

then she left school and i had just about forgotten about her

then she rang me again and i decided to listen as i always did...i noticed a change in her attitude..not so fucked up anymore...not so gobby(cussing me)...and a general change in the tone of her voice

she asked me to meet her in town..as i was going anyway i did....i met her and it was the same old gobshite...put on attitude

then she rings me and sends me SMS's saying she loves me....still...after one year!!!

i do have feelings for her...but she fucked my head up soooo much....and its happening again...she fucking my head up...i just dont know how to react...what to say or..how to feel?

can anyone tell me how they would feel in my shoes? :blink:
Last edited by Matt on Sun Jun 20, 2004 3:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Shroomygirl
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Post by Shroomygirl » Sun Jun 20, 2004 5:55 am

Have you tried telling her how she made you feel through this sit.?
I mean it couldn't hurt for you to speak and let her listen to what you have to say about it all...I mean that's what I would do if I was in your shoe's...
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Sun Jun 20, 2004 2:31 pm

she lies alot...to herself and to me

i can talk to her on the phone and i can tell shes nervous just talking to me(a goooood feeling..lol)....when i met her i could tell she was nervous.....as was i but i dont show many emotions(something i have learnt to do)

talking to her seems good...

After she told me she loved me an i freaked out(cos it was very unexpected).....i started tosee her again and i once tried to put my arm around her when she was feeling down(god im such the gentleman)...and i was totally blown off!!!

something on the lines of
"GET THE FUCK OFF ME"

which makes confidence hard to find...ya know?

still screwing with my head....i have ignored her last phone calls...if i keep on doing it it might be too late

wheres wildcards advice hour when you need it?
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Saddam
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Post by Saddam » Sun Jun 20, 2004 4:01 pm

It sounds like a battle of wills between your heart and your head.

Look at the facts - She is in need of help. This girl says that she loves you but how can she really know what she wants when many other aspects of her life are so screwed up. I suggest that she feels that she needs someone who understands her, someone she can open up to (that being you) and thus has related this to love.

It may be difficult for you to do but I suggest that you do not get emotionally involved with this girl. By all means stay friends with her and be there for her when she needs you but to begin relationship with her will only end in tears (both yours and hers)

I had a similar situation when I was in my first year of university. My housemate was a manic depressive and yet I had feelings for her, and I believe she thought that she had feelings for me. There were many instances where things could have progressed into a full blown relationship but I kept my head. I looked at the facts and told myself that if I allowed it happen I would be entering a whole world of pain which otherwise I could easily avoid. I have never looked back on that decision and considering the problems she has had with future boyfriends I feel rather lucky.

If your head says that this person is not right for you then you must not ignore it. If you get into a relationship with this person such feelings will gradually eat away at you and destroy any chance of future happiness.

Also ask this question, is it really your heart that says you like this person or is it hormones and the need to get laid. The vast majority of men get confused between the two, I know I have. Sorry to be so cynical but my observations of men throughout my life have shown many to carry these characteristics which can obscure their real feelings.
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Sun Jun 20, 2004 8:56 pm

wow i mean wow

that has made more sense to me then anyone else ever has

you are so spot on with the observation and i didn't give you much information to go on

how can i explain this to her

i really do think that is it you know

i dont really know how many guys she has been with(relationship) i know shes a virgin....shes really hung....and i really think i should stay friends with her

i got laid about a week ago.....8 days(sorry but...) so thats not the case with me...but is ohhhh so true for lads my age

that was what i was looking for cheers mate
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Saddam
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Post by Saddam » Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:06 pm

glad to be of some assistance
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Sun Jun 20, 2004 9:51 pm

SOME????? try fuck loads
LostInside
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Post by LostInside » Wed Jun 23, 2004 12:49 am

shall we all clap and dance now?
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Vandire
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Post by Vandire » Wed Jun 23, 2004 1:06 am

hmm, intruige

if it was me, id do what was best for her, i dont care much about myself no more, so selfless acts are how i am, but you should do what you feel is right, heed others advice, learn from it, draw your own conclusions from the collective thoughts of others
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Matt
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Post by Matt » Wed Jun 23, 2004 9:47 pm

i think it is to be honest...she is hung on me...but she dont know what shes feelinhg...if i got involved with her it would fuck up her head your know?

not to mention mine
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